Day 186 - Banff Sister

(Amanda and I. Banff 2004)

Day 186 - "Paris" Friendly Fires (Aeroplane Remix feat. Au Revoir Simone)

I had moved away from home for the first time when I was 19. I moved out to Banff for a year of snowboarding and many new life experiences. I managed to land a waitressing job at The Rimrock and also lived in their staff accommodations within the hotel. I had never lived with roommates in the past so this was definitely a new life experience. I very much disliked the roommates I had as they were horrible, inconsiderate girls. I debated moving back to Saskatchewan after only being there for a couple months because it seemed too difficult. I missed my mommy and daddy along with easy life in Moose Jaw. Before I knew it my dear Amanda swooped me up like she was my mother bird and moved me into her accommodations with her friend Sarah, saving me from my previous roommates.

(Coldlin Chris, Amanda, Sarah and myself. Banff 2004)

This was the beginning of an everlasting friendship. Sadly she was only in Banff for a short period of time because she was there for a work term to complete the hospitality course she was studying at SAIT. I cried and cried and cried the day she left. Now for the first time in eight years Amanda and I are living in the same city! We have always been in other cities, provinces and countries than each other. With her and I are in such close proximity to each other the mischievous wheels are already turning in our minds. I can already predict that this will be quite the preposterous and thrilling summer. Nothing has changed in the eight years that have passed and Amanda still welcomes me into her home as though I am family. It is comforting having family in Calgary while I am so far from my family in Saskatchewan!

xox

Day 187 - Candied

(Phase I...)

Day 187 - "I'm Good, I'm Gone" Lykke Li (Fred Falke Remix)

I was heartbroken this weekend because I was unable to drive out to Saskatoon due to the weather. When I looked at the highway conditions and forecasts they showed that many sections were closed due to prairie blizzards. It was hard to believe that the highways were closed because as I peered out the window from work it was a sunny day in Calgary. I was convinced that I definitely should not  be travelling when I saw the news report of a car crash involving over 100 vehicles on the QE2. I told myself that there must be some reason that I was meant to stay in Calgary for the weekend...

After Gorilla House last night I was in the painting mood so I assembled my artsy girls. We shared a bottle of wine and settled on my living room floor and painted away! After last night's art inspiration involving my trees, I started working on an abstract background to place another tree. The leafless tree is comparable to the shape of a female body in my series "The Female Form" as it completes an abstract canvas. I have over twenty different series' in mind and it's overwhelming! I could paint all day and night as I am continuously inspired with new ideas.

(Renee's piece)

(Amanda's piece)

I cherish the presence of my friends when they come over to paint not only because of the heartwarming company but also because I enjoy watching their personal art flair explode! Renee seems to have found a few personal callings for painting styles and Amanda has already started her first masterpiece. We are already prepared and ready for Gorilla House next week...bring on the painting.

xox

Day 188 - Moon Horror

(Dayshade by Jenn Arguin, March 2013)

Day 188 - "One Type of Dark" Ginger & The Ghost (Ta-Ku Remix)

The art battles at Gorilla House continue every week and I finally made it back for my third attempt. As Renee and I walked in the door we were greeted by Rich the owner and founder of Gorilla House. He had a miniature version of himself in his hands. He had carved a wax doll about 12 inches in length and  it was even dressed like him. Gorilla House is always inspiring people to create new art! Each time I visit the house it always has new art work displayed on it's walls. The theme on the walls were all very large figure drawings inspired by the Thursday night drawing classes.

For the art battle I had it in my mind that I wanted to paint a leafless tree and incorporate it into one of the topics in any way that I could. The wheel spun in my favour and the three topics were: Aficionado, Moon Horror and/or Sun Shower and a Japanese word that I can't recall. I chose Moon Horror with a splash of Sun Shower. I brought along two canvases this time around to see if that would increase interest for my work in the auction. While painting I had two different people who kept walking past me and watching my work in progression. I enjoy the interest but truthfully it can be a bit nerve racking having someone standing behind you watching your every stroke. I found that I kept painting the same branch over and over again until they looked away then I would toss in a big brazen stroke!

("Nightshade" by Jenn Arguin, March 2013)

I had a good feeling that there was going to be a bit of biding war for my paintings. There were quite a few people walking around on a mission. They were looking for something in particular...and sure enough there was a little war for my two paintings and they were sold to a happy art lover! It's such rush standing up in front of the crowd of people, holding up my canvases and watching people get excited over the pieces I had done that night.

Hurray for Gorilla House LIVE art! 

xox

Day 189 - Lightbulb

Day 189 - "Fade" Jakwob feat. Maiday

I was unsure if I was looking forward to my guitar lesson or not tonight. I possess an abysmal desire to learn how to play the guitar but I have been frustrated by my aching hand. My hand was so incredibly strained from trying to depress the strings after my last lesson that I couldn't even push open a door with that hand. As I am fairly new to being a guitarist, I am unfamiliar with guitar maintenance and tuning. I decided to bring my guitar in for a check up. Turns out that I was struggling with reason, there were many adjustments that needed to be done to my wooden friend. A little guitar lingo; my guitar needed to have the truss rod tightened, new strings (light gauge) and also the bridge was lifting so it needed to be re-glued and clamped. These few improvements to my guitar did wonders for my performance at tonight's lesson! I now have increased confidence in my new skill and I couldn't put my guitar down because I was having so much fun.

I have applied this struggle-adjustment-improvement lesson to my life and realized that at times I tend to make my days unnecessarily difficult. I am exceedingly tolerable and I try to endure more than my little heart and body can handle. I am in a soul searching stage of trying to figure out how to express what I am feeling inside to those around me. I hide a lot and I wear an impenetrable mask. I figure most people do this for the same reason as I do - to be a peacekeeper and to try to keep life simple. I learned the hard way that it is not healthy to keep everything bottled up.

My dear friend Cortney had known me for almost two years before she first saw me cry for the first time early last year...and wow did I cry that day. I cried all day in fact. I had repressed my deepest fears and emotions from her (and the world) until I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had broken down and oddly enough Cortney was smiling.  She was overjoyed to see me untie my mask. I tried very hard to keep my mask off but slowly I had started to put on another mask. It wasn't until the day that I had started my blog when I started to slowly untie my mask again.

Tomorrow I shall continuing strumming the newer strings of people that I have in my life and continue working on untying this mask...to the Gorilla House!

Little hiccup aaaand smile! <3

xox

Day 190 - Señorita

Day 190 - "Obsesion" Aventura

I have been happily spoiled by all of the amazing photo shoots and photo opportunities that I have been presented with recently! Photographing singers and musicians has proven to be the most rewarding shoots because I have been receiving private musical shows.

Today I had the pleasure of photographing hip hop emcee Rebecca Dawn. Half way through our shoot she busted out in an on-the-spot rap song. It was so impressive to hear her mind and lips work so smoothly and simultaneously. There are many words I can use to describe this fascinating woman and atop my list are; strong, incredible, talented, bubbly, pleasant, sweetheart, passionate, energetic...oh the list goes on! I will concentrate on the word talented in this post. Besides the fact that she can sing and rap, this Canadian can also project her musical talents in Spanish.  My favourite song by Rebecca would have to be "Tanguera" which is on her website.

I am a sucker for anything to do with Spanish. It's such a beautiful language and she melts my heart when I hear her singing Spanish lyrics! Rebecca has a freestyle show coming up in the beginning of April and I already have this night saved to see her kick some hip hop butt. Como me gusta musica española!

xox

Day 191 - The Wonder Emporium

Day 191 - "Hold Yuh" Major Lazer & La Roux

Tonight was one of those nights where no words can accurately portray the picture of the events. After meeting the guys from the band Violence, they suggested a few local shows and venues for me to check out to potentially photograph. I managed to convince Amanda and Helen to join the adventure and off we went to The Wonder Emporium.

The Emporium is an indoor skateboarding park and they were hosting five bands for $5. I was told the bands would be AMAZING...at the end of the night amazing wouldn't be my first adjective of choice! We only stayed for one band and they sounded like monkeys bashing instruments. The "lead singer" tossed himself into the crowd but landed on the ground and ended up with a gash on his forehead. He climbed back on stage, blood running down his face and continued to shout his lyrics.

Unfortunately I had missed this action as I was photographing the skateboarders in park. I was enthralled by sitting at the bottom of the skateboard ramp and capturing close up photos of the skaters. There were some very talented skaters but even the most experienced skaters loose their balance. I was quickly reminded why I don't take pleasure in watching this sport. I was also very lucky that I didn't end up getting hurt in my photographing process as they were flipping their boards right in front my face! The positions photographers put themselves in to capture a fascinating photo will make an audience cringe (but regardless they always enjoy the photos).

Extreme sports photography very well could be an up and coming series of photos after reviewing the wicked angles that I was able to capture tonight. Although the next time I photograph skateboarders I will probably head over to Millennium the outdoor skatepark, primarily to avoid the dangerous bands at The Wonder Emporium.

xox

Day 192 - A Violent Opportunity

Day 192 - "Heart Skipped a Beat" The XX

The more I share myself with the world, the more the world gives back to me. I have so many friends looking out for opportunities that would interest me. I am unbelievably grateful for my friends who have such caring hearts.

Recently Renee saw a posting on Facebook from a local Calgary band in need of a photographer and she instantly sent me a message with the details. A few days later I found myself hanging out with the band Violence and sharing laughs while snapping away!

One of my secret thrills is taking photos of people who haven't had too many professional shoots done in their lives. It's a great challenge for me to figure out how to help them relax and have fun while having their photo taken. Violence was looking for a band photo to accompany the article that is being written about them (link to this article is still to come...). We snapped a few photos of them hanging out and we managed to acquire a couple good photos for the article. Once we were "done" shooting I asked them if they wouldn't mind playing a couple instrumental songs for me so I could get a taste of their music. The moment they picked up their guitars I grabbed my camera and started shooting again. THESE were the photos I was hoping to capture. Photos of the guys in their true element, they were so relaxed.

What a great ending to my day, as it had been a stressful day with packing and moving. This photo shoot was another reminder to myself that I love love love taking portrait photos. Also that I love meeting new, amazing people. One can never have too many friends! I am looking forward to photographing Violence at their next show. More photos of locals bands shall be coming soon.

xox

Day 193 - In with the New

(Twas my little art studio)

Day 193 - "Last Night I Heard Everything in Slow Motion" Oliver Tank

I think of change as a positive part of my life. Change seems to creep up on me more often than it does for others but I am not complaining! My younger sister Danielle loves to hear about the new and exciting changes in my life. I agree that I do tend to keep my days quite exciting. But this week I am exhausted from the quick changes in my living situation.

I have lived in Calgary for five years this July and I have lived in six different places since being here. You would think that I have become an expert at moving yet I still use re-useable shopping bags and garbage bags to pack my belongings once I have run out of boxes. A person tends to forget how many belongings they collect over the years as these belongings are typically shoved into the back of closets and under the bed. I underestimated the amount of goods that I have collected. Does anyone need:
life jackets, a dingy, school binders, hats, shoes, heels, tennis rackets, crutches, kitchenware, a t.v., canned tuna...oh the list goes on! Spring cleaning has begun early this year and I am quite enjoying the cleansing side of this move.

I typically listen to the words carried upon the winds of change as I had described in Inevitably Destined...and I wonder if the wind is trying to tell me that my Calgary days have ended. I will admit that the course of my events in the past couples months have me confused. One day I am positive I should stay here and the next day I am unsure if my heart still lies within this cowboy city.

My plans for the next couple days are very exciting. As always I am looking forward to sitting down and recounting my adventures...nevertheless, first things first - time to finish this move. Anyone need school binders??

(All clean and now time to set up the new studio...)

xox

Day 194 - Craze-iness

(Self portrait of planking)

Day 194 - "Thirteen Thirtyfive" Dillon

There are a variety of crazes that pop up every month and I applaud the creators of these trends for being so innovative. Although I applaud these artists, I don't necessarily agree with their trendy ideas.  The most recent crazes that I have come across are quite bizarre. A couple examples are:

Bagel head -  which is a temporary (6 to 24 hour) swelling distortion of the forehead created by a saline drip and often shaped to resemble a bagel or doughnut...this is quite popular in Japan!

 

(Yuck!)

 

The Harlen Shake - a flash mob trend to the song created by a DJ called Baauer. Personally I do not find this very entertaining!

Dyeing pets to look like exotic animals - this craze began in China a few years ago, an easy way to have a pet tiger!

 (Cute!)

 

The most interesting craze that has caught my photographic eye is planking. Planking is a game where the participant lies face down in unusual locations, keeping the hands along the body and the feet outstretched. When this plank-like position is achieved, a photo is taken and then posted to the Internet. People have been photographed planking in difficult positions and exotic locations. It’s also known as the lying down game. I challenged myself to this craze and I started to photograph my friends in the planking position. To my surprise a lot of people were very excited to help me with this odd portrait series. I had started taking this photos a few years ago but had lost track of this series (I tend to lose track of my hobbies and interests because there are so many to remember!). Alas! I started up the series once again. Perhaps as I begin to snap planking photos it will inspire a personal photographic trend within me. 

xox

Day 195 - Inevitably Destined

(Grad photo from Dental Assisting...I never was a fan of "school pictures")

Day 195 - "Medicine" Daughter

I believe the path of our life is a combination of personal decision making along with fate. Recently I had the conversation about the role that fate plays in our lives to bring us to where we are right now. I enjoy thinking back to the points in my life where fate had presented it's opportunities to me. Ultimately it comes down to making the decision of whether or not the presented fate is what your heart desires. There are always many people you can credit for each step that you have taken on your path. Thinking about all of the people and events involved is similar to creating a family tree. As each person is introduced into your journey, a new generation and a new life is born.

When I graduated from high school I wasn't sure what I wanted to study so I decided to take a basic business course at the local college. My mom didn't want me to be working while going to school because she really wanted me to focus on my studies. She and my dad gave me $1000 to budget and use towards entertainment for the school year. This $1000 is how I ended up where I am right now.

I took that money and went to the snowboard shop NBS on Main Street and bought myself a complete set up in snowboard gear. I started making monthly trips out to the mountains with the guys who were going snowboarding. As a result of these expensive trips, I had to get a waitressing job. On a couple snowboarding trip we crashed at a friend's place in Banff and I was convinced that Banff was the place to be.

A girl friend from Moose Jaw and I ran away to Banff and we lived the snowboarding life for a year.

(Bear tracking in Banff, I was the tracker!)

While there I met an Englishman and then moved to England for two years. I lived the life of a backpacking traveller for those years, travelling across western Europe in both summer and winter. I managed to save enough money for a couple trips to South Africa before moving back to Canada. All of this travelling and living penny to penny encouraged me to explore further education.

I decided to resume my studies and completed the dental assisting course in Regina. After I graduated I was visiting another friend in Banff. She asked me what I was going to do next with my life...I had no answer for her but she had an answer for me. Her sister in Calgary worked in a dental office and they were hiring.

Two weeks later I moved to Calgary. It seemed to be for no apparent reason other than a job...but to me it was fate. Again I was listening to what the world had to offer to me, just as I have done every year since I graduated. I told myself that I would only stay for one year because I wanted to start travelling again.

Five years later here I am! My life in Calgary has been a crazy roller coaster with many smiles and  occasional tears but mostly amazing adventures along with incredible people. Every day I continue to listen to the words of fate and trust the instinct of my heart. Recently my life has been drastically changing and it seems this way ever since I started listening more intently to fate's guidance and taking a chance...

(A top the Calgary Tower)

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark, the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." Plato

What excitement will tomorrow bring??

xox

P.S. Thank you mom&dad for helping me in more ways that the monetary gift to get me to where I am! Love you!

Day 196 - Mountain Revitalization

Day 196 - "Your Girl" Tourist

Ahhhh how I love getaways to the mountains! It's been years since I have taken the gondola up to the top of Sulphur Mountain.  Just over a year a go my sister Danielle was proposed to by Justin a top the gondola so we decided to visit their memorable spot. Hanging out on the mountain all day brought back wonderful memories of when I used to live and work at the Rimrock Resort in Banff. It was a perfect day to soak in the Banff Hot Springs, ride up the gondola and enjoy martinis with a cheese plate at the Rimrock.

After our relaxing day we went on our mini pub crawl and sugar crawl on Banff Avenue. There are as many sweet shops and fudge factories as there are pubs in Banff. It was impossible to not over indulge with coconut hay stacks, candy from my childhood and fudge. We played it well and went for a little hike around the Bow Falls in the morning to burn off all the food, drinks and sugar that we had ingested. The falls weren't completely frozen over so unfortunately I couldn't get any photos walking on top of the falls.

 Justin managed to snap a nice photo of me with Mountain Rundle in the background. This specific mountain is on my bucket list of hikes. Apparently it's quite strenuous and is an eight hour return hike. I am hoping to tackle it this coming summer as last summer I accomplished a few warm up hikes up Mount Yamnuska, Mount Indefatigable and Heart Mountain. 

Until the summer...

xox

Day 197 - Sniper In Training

Day 197 - "Bang Bang" Nancy Sinantra

Say hello to my little friend...actually she's quite a big, intimidating friend. I ventured outside of my comfort zone and chose the biggest gun that I would be able to physically pick up and shoot. My gun of choice was an AR 15 semi-automatic rifle.

My heart was pounding as I walked in to the firing range. The deafening sound of so many guns going off at once combined with the vibrations in my chest made me jump with every step. I had to breath deeply to control my nerves and try to shut out the explosive environment. It didn't help that the shooter next to me had an array of guns in front of him including a Desert Eagle which was incredibly wild and loud. He was much more accurate with his shots than I was, nevertheless I did quite well my first time as I clearly hit my target more than once! I chose this lovely target sheet since I am on the zombie theme this week.

My shooting companions for the evening were my younger sister and her husband. Her choice was a 9mm hand gun and his was a gun similar to an AK 47. Neither of them had ever shot a gun before and it was quite the experience for both of them as well! Justin would have been sold on a membership, if only he lived in Calgary. I am thinking that every Sasky man has a gun fetish. Then again I might be acquiring a fetish for guns along with the adrenaline as well.

Her clown went doooown. Without a doubt I shall return to the shooting range. My adrenaline is surging and I already know that I won't be able to sleep tonight! 

xox

Day 198 - Zombie Love

Day 198 - "The Fear" Lily Allen (Duke Dumont Remix)

Do you ever wish you were talented enough at drawing or painting that you could re-create your dreams, nightmares, memories or visualizations to show others the images that lay deep in your mind?
In this lovely image above, we have my nightmare from last night. I must be watching too many zombie and vampire shows. I'm not even sure what that eerie thing is but it did a great job of waking me up in the middle of the night.

I have read in various "dream" articles that humans have anywhere between three to nine dreams a night. I believe I am one of the fortunate people as I can remember the majority of my dreams in vivid detail. My dreams seem so tangible and vivid that I have mistaken a dream for reality. After I wake from a vivid dream I feel as though I am living two lives at once. Especially when I have lucid dreams and I am aware that I am dreaming but have complete control of every aspect. In another one of my dreams from last night I "completely forgot" that I could fly. When I remembered that I possessed this skill I started hovering above a ton of canvases in an art store to get a better look at the selection. Flying dreams are by far my favourite. I was flying on broomsticks every night for weeks after I had read the Harry Potter series.

My lucid dreams come in handy when I have too much on my mind during the day that I can actually conceptualize and problem solve in my dreams! One problem that is unsolved are the dreadful nightmares...especially the re-occuring nightmares. Disappear Mr. Eerie Man in my painting. I am thinking positive thoughts right now so that I may paint something beautiful tomorrow!

xox

Day 199 - My Not-So-Secret Bubble

(Photo by Jenn Arguin, 2010)

Day 199 - "Mexican Mavis" Boy & Bear

I treasure every time someone initiates conversation about my blog and when they ask questions about certain posts. A work colleague was astonished by the elements of my life that she had never knew about. In general we all have various types of relationships, mostly being: acquaintances, friendships, family relationships, and work relationships. With every person we know in our lives we choose specific pieces of ourselves that we want to share with said person. Such as if I didn't have my mom on Facebook or have her reading my blog, then she wouldn't have knowledge of many random events in my life. Example being she would have never seen my scary self portrait photos (I love you so much mom, again I am so sorry for scaring you!). The same goes for my work colleague who has been very excited to read about my intriguing stories and ventures.

There is only so much time in a day to open up to our friends so we can learn more about each other. I realize that I am quite the conversationalist when it comes to sharing my stories and bits of knowledge that are stuffed away in my brain. I always have to set the stage for my story and start right from the beginning to ensure that my listener fully grasps the tale. I have even found myself standing up so I can act out the tale.

My life is an open book and I can only hope that each of my posts has a positive impact on at least one person (other than myself). I'm also hoping that my readers will continue to learn new things about my eccentric life that I love so much. I strive to continue to inspire myself along with my readers in the next 198 days. The world is my oyster and a new week has just begun...I have a feeling this week will bring several riveting stories.

I <3 lazy Sundays.

xox

Day 200 - Stiletto and Psyche Cardio

Day 200 - "Move For Me" Kaskade and Deadmau5

I would call myself more of a social drinker rather than a party girl these days (or years I suppose). My ambitions in life increase every day and there is no time to be hung over in my world! Although...once in awhile it is nice to let the night take you away. A girl's night out was put together for Saturday and quite the night out it evolved into. There are three elements that I cherish on a girl's night out; one is without a doubt the copious amount of dancing, two would be the erratic conversations and plans that are brewed amongst the beautiful minds and three would simply be being in the presence of my inspiring and stunning ladies.

I have always chosen to air on the side of dreamers. Each one of the ladies out on Saturday have their own personal bohemian dreams and I was passionately feeding off their idealistic futures with every word that was spoken. I find myself attracted to people who want to live freely and who want to be any where in the world besides in the centre of a city while working our days away for the man (yet how have we found ourselves here now!).

Amanda wants to be on an organic farm in British Columbia with gardens and fields of fresh fruit, vegetables and herbs.

Renee wants to be on a sailboat, with a pen and paper, writing her little heart out.

Helen wants to be constantly travelling across the country while running around barefoot through the forests...dancing and frolicking.

And me? I will do as I've always done best and be the little social butterfly. I want to help Amanda grow, be there with Renee as she floats on and I want Helen to show me the secret beauties of Canada.
Of course I will be doing all of this while feeding and sharing my dreams. The wonderful part is each of their dreams are easily incorporated into my dreams.

Fly ladies, fly...and take me with you!

xox

Day 201 - Prima Donna

(Photo by Jenn Arguin, taken for DocuDramaRomCom 2012)

Day 201 - "Five Step" Radiohead vs Dave Brubeck

I am aways in awe while watching actors in movies, plays, and theatrical performances. Watching an actor play the roles of diverse characters is very impressive. I have never acted before but always wondered what it would feel like to be on stage...having all eyes on you. I have a couple close friends who love to act and they are very animated when they take on their character's role. They hold a  stunning talent.

One of my friends is an actor and part of the organization of a short play. He was asking around for actresses to play the one female role. As I have no acting experience I was too shy to immediately speak up. After thinking about it for a few days I realized that I am quite an animated person in my every day life and I love public speaking, so perhaps I should try acting! He sent me the script to review and I was so excited as I flipped the pages. He said that I have to read the script for him and the director/writer of the play to see if I fit the part and if I have the potential to act. I now have another addition to my ultimate bucket list of life: To act in a play. First I read the script with friend outside of the play so I wouldn't be so nervous in front of the director. I was bubbling with excitement and sweating profusely while reading. It was so much fun! I then re-read it for the actor in the play and he said I would be great! I was smiling ear to ear. Now the final step...I still need to read it for the director, Graeme Black, to confirm that I am what he is looking for in his play.  Graeme is always busy writing, acting and directing. He has a great imagination and his most recent work is a 25 minute short film called DocuDramaRomCom. Crossing my fingers that I have the chance to work with him.

I will continue with the updates should I land the role and begin rehearsing! There are too few hours and days in a week for me to accomplish all that I want to do in life. I should revisit the "four hour work week"so I have more time to immerse myself in my arts.

Writing...
         Painting...
                   Drawing...
                              Guitar playing...
                                                  Photo taking...
                                                                   Acting...

It's a wonderful life.

xox

Day 202 - Chimera

(Calgary skyline by Jenn Arguin...but this isn't what my poem is about ;) )

Day 202 - "Daydream" by Youth Lagoon (Noah Hyde remix)


Chimera

Vivid will describe this image.
I can feel every single emotion.
I am looking at myself from a distance and it's pleasant.
This world is limitless and it's amusing to my eyes.
It this a fantasy?
I hope no one discovers this secret.

Can you sense that I have a a secret?
My heart pounds as I stare at the beautiful image.
This seems real but I know it's a fantasy.
Let me describe this emotion.
I am powerful and in control, my actions are recorded by my eyes.
Everything I do feels very pleasant.

I wonder if they think my world is pleasant?
The thrill of knowing is my biggest secret.
What is perceived through their eyes?
This is MY image.
I can sense but don't acknowledge negative emotion.
I want to stay in this land of fantasy.

If you only understood the thrill of my fantasy.
The rawness of what lays in front of me is so pleasant.
As I get closer I can feel it rising, the emotion.
All tied up, it's a scary secret.
I inhale and appreciate my image.
They are focused on me, those eyes.

I mask the eyes.
I will do as I please for this is my fantasy.
The ambience seems to grow dark around my image.
It doesn't change the way I feel, all is still pleasant.
Now I want to share my secret.
I'm unsure if the world can handle the level of my emotion.

I will describe my zealous emotion.
Close your eyes.
Imagine a deep, dark secret.
Let loose your biggest and most desired fantasy.
Soak up the excitement which is profoundly pleasant.
Now do you see my image?

To feel such an intense emotion, is just one highlight of my fantasy.
I wish you could see the ecstasy with your own eyes, this sensation is very pleasant.
Do you want to hear more about the secret details of my perceived image?

Jenn Arguin

xox