The Prequel

In one moment today a ton of collective thoughts about "living life to the fullest" came rushing to my mind. I focused on what I would do with my life if I knew I only had a limited amount of time to live, which we all do in years but I was focusing on days...what if I only had 229 days to live and September 17, 2013 was my last day on earth? How would I spend every day until then? I am completely medically healthy and mentally stable, a long life ahead of me...but who knows when life will be torn from my grasp. It's time to focus harder on this precious gift of life and unveiling to myself what my fullest potentials are with each of my days.  The few key points that brought on my inspiration to begin this blog are:

1) Today I had just finished watching this amazing short video about personalized music that uses your heartbeat to create musical beats titled Biobeats. In the intro of the video the creator of this musical idea told his story about how he had passed out and flat lined, they had put a toe tag on him declaring him dead but he revived. The doctor said "it's time to change your life". After being repeatedly told that he needs to slow down and live in the moment, he finally understood. He mentioned how everyone focuses too much on the future and working too hard when they need to be enjoying their life and what's in front of them.

2) Recently someone I know was diagnosed with metastatic clear cell sarcoma in his right lung. He is a happy, friendly guy who loves life and has already once over come sarcoma approximately nine years ago with multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation. He was deemed cancer free for five years until his most recent check up. A fundraiser ( http://www.fundraisingforthefoxcrofts.com/ ) has been set up for him and his wife. He has no idea what lies ahead in his future but with positive thoughts along with family and friends, he will push through this like he once did. 

3) Five months ago one of my dearest and most vibrant friends Farrah became ill one night with a fever and she didn't live to see the next night...it was one of the most heart breaking days I have experienced in my life. She lived life to the fullest every single day, it was impossible to keep up with her. Until one morning I was at her house trying to nurse her back to health and by the evening she was in the hospital, intubated and unconscious. By 10pm she had passed away while I was holding her cold hand, starting at her blue lips...shouting at her to fight for her life and to not give up. Her life was torn away from her grasp but her beautiful soul lives in me and all of her family and friends. R.I.P. Farrah <3

4) Four days ago I had a different type of a heart breaking day. A break up. I had been dating this amazing guy for a year and a half. We were a great fit and were compatible on so many levels it was unbelievable...other than we were at different places in our lives. What can you do when it's bad timing? Each day I slowly become stronger and focus more on myself and my needs. I am realizing that in the last few months of the relationship my needs were something that I was ignoring because I was focusing so hard on sustaining the relationship itself, regardless of if I was hurting some of those days. Never do I have a regret in my life because I grow and learn from every experience and it was a beautiful year full of crazy adventures. He is someone who will always have a special place in my heart and will always have a place in my life. 

5) My mom sent me a text to remind me that focusing on my needs is a good thing. She said "you will be able to enjoy life on a new refreshed level". Time to try new things in life...time to start writing again...229 days of writing is my goal.

These five points are quite the deep collective thoughts that appear to focus on negative aspects but each are positively inspiring. 

Tomorrow morning when I wake up on February 1st, 2013 - Day 1 will greet me with endless opportunities and adventures. 

It's only natural to be listening to music as I write and a song that I have listened to on repeat is "Let Her Go" by Passenger ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA ). Listen to it to feel what I am feeling.

Until tomorrow.

xox