Day 182 - Snow Day

Day 182 - "Spring" Fabu

The first days of spring have finally hit Moose Jaw! It was t-shirt weather but there was still a ton of snow, ice and slush on every inch of the city. My nieces and I took on the challenge to clear off Papa Paul's drive way. Katelyn came outside to watch us and she started snapping photos...in the end we were posing more than shovelling! While clearing the snow, I snuck out on to the street to push some of the water down the hill from the bigger puddles to encourage water flow. My niece Makenna was not happy about this!




She shouted at me to get back on the side walk and proceeded to tell me that it is very dangerous to be playing in the middle of the street and that I was not allowed back out there. I put my head down, listened to my niece and walked back on to the driveway. We managed to clear off half of the drive way before our arms grew tired and it was break time. The rest of my weekend was pretty much break time as I mainly lounged around the house while avoiding my phone and relaxing with my famjam!

My weekends in Saskatchewan are always amongst my favourite.  Surprisingly I am able to slow down and unwind from my fast paced lifestyle in Calgary. I find it too easy to get wrapped up in trying to conquer the world. These are the times when I need to kick my feet up and just zen out with my nieces. I could sit on the floor for hours and watch them play while wandering around the house with their heads bobbing back and forth. Ah! How I love these two girls. How I love my family! My nieces always need to know exactly when they will be seeing me next. I promised them in four to six weeks (as per usual). I can't survive any longer than six weeks without those girls!

See you chiquitas not soon enough with a car full of paint and canvases. <3

xox

Day 183 - Sweet Tooth

Day 183 - "Scheeks" Liftboi 

I've recently become infatuated with wanting to know how my sugary treats have been created. I have acquired my sweet tooth from my dad (along with my artistic side). There are the occasional evenings where I can't bring myself to eat a savoury meal because my mind is craving one thing only...sugar! During these evenings I will have cereal, fruit, french toast, cookies and/or cake for dinner. It always varies depending on the level of sugar craving that I am experiencing in that moment.

In my most recent trip to Banff with my sister and her husband, we had stopped off at The Fudgery. I had purchased a chocolate haystack and Danielle a giant soft caramel. Smash the two together and you get:

I have eaten both soft and hard caramels but the soft caramels have a special place in my heart. I placed the challenge upon myself to create my own caramels! I gathered my ingredients and I was off to the races.

My youngest sister Katelyn suggested I use her very flavourful and imported Vanilla from Mexico:

I started off with the corn syrup:

I watched it boil with sugar:

I mixed in the cream and butter:

I watched it boil again, the craters are so neat:

Then as soon as it reached it's final temperature, I quickly poured it into a pan!

And voila! A few hours after setting, I chopped up the caramel into small little candies. 

They were so soft and sugary. I handed them out to friends and family and in return I received kind compliments on my treats! They are already asking for more goodies. Hmmm this candy making and baking has intrigued me further....what shall I make next? I'm thinking chocolate truffles...

Now it's time to try and sleep after devouring grams and grams of sugar. Sweet dreams :)

xox

Day 184 - Regrets

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

(On Farrah's doorstep wearing a doctor's mask as a joke as I came prepared to play nurse but didn't want to get ill.)

Day 184 - "Too Insistent" The Do (FHRHT Remix)

Throughout life there are many forks in the road with a variety of paths that we can choose to wander down. We ultimately have no idea whether we have made the right choice or not until we've made a decision and witness the end results. One of my all time favourite quotes would have to be "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do." This was quoted by Rory Cochrane while playing the character Lucas in the classic movie Empire Records. I always keep that quote in mind to encourage me to be trying new things and it truly works! Sky diving has always been and still is a regret of something that I have not done, but in due time I will get my butt up in that airplane.

I've never read that quote while concentrating on the "but those I did not do" portion. I have always read it thinking about things that I need to do in life but not thinking about the things that I did not do (have not done). I am a very optimistic person and rarely dwell on the negative. Regretting something that you did not do in life is without a doubt one of the most difficult thoughts to live with in life. How do people accept that they cannot change the past when an event has such a major impact on their lives?

The most tragic event of life is...death and death is accompanied by the five stages of loss.

1) Denial and Isolation
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance

I had been told of these stages but never read the stages in detail. As I browsed the internet to read about these five stages I came across this website Psych Central. It broke down the five stages of loss. I have accepted...that I am stuck on 3) Bargaining. I am terrified that I will be caught on this stage for a very extended period of time when it comes to Farrah. The break down of my stage is:

3. Bargaining
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control-

- If only we had sought medical attention sooner...
- If only we got a second opinion from another doctor...
- If only we had tried to be a better person toward them...

Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable.
This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.

Normally Farrah crosses my mind once a day and accompanying this image of her bright face is the thought "Why didn't I encourage her to see a doctor sooner that day, why didn't I just drag her to the walk in clinic, why didn't I realize or understand the importance of her missing spleen...why, why, why??". I will be honest with the fact that I cannot forgive myself for not acting sooner and this is the most difficult part of my every day life.

"I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do."

I will love you always and deeply Farrah.

(Kicking it in Pano, 2011)

xox

Day 185 - Tell Me Your Story

Day 185 - "All Away" Art of Shades (feat. Soukaina)

Gorilla House started writing a series of short posts on Facebook that describe how the house came to be. Each post begins with "The Story of Gorilla House Part __", they are currently on part 64. In the post of "The Story of Gorilla House Part 54" they asked "Tell me your story...".

I always enjoy thinking back to the beginning of my many, many stories. My story of Gorilla house is tied to my beloved friend Farrah who is no longer with us. It was two weeks after Farrah had passed and I hadn't been sleeping, barely eating and I had constant chest pains. I felt as thought I had been physically beat up and I could barely open my eyes. I could not (and still cannot) understand the pain I was feeling. I was clenching my fists all day and night because I was holding so much anger within my body. With every word I spoke, tears welled up in my eyes. I needed some sort of change in my life to distract my mind from the physically and emotionally draining thoughts. I went for a walk down the street to this cute little hair salon and booked myself in for a hair appointment.

(The night the purple rain boots were offered to me by Farrah to keep my feet warm)

She introduced herself as Jenny and asked me what I wanted to have done. The tears started to form in my eyes but I held them inside. I told her I needed a change, something very different but I definitely did not want to chop all of my hair off. My long locks are my guilty pleasure, I tend to bury my face in my hair at least once a day! We ended up agreeing that I should chop my long bangs and try a new style.

(Oh my goodness was I in shock haha)

While she was snipping away I was sitting there quietly. As everyone knows I am normally a chatterbox but during those few weeks and the weeks to follow I didn't have anything to talk about. Somehow we stumbled across the topic of art and it turns out my new friend Jenny is also an abstract acrylic artist. She was too excited to tell me about this amazing place she had just heard about and it was called the Gorilla House. I was instantly sold on this groovy local art project. This new art adventure along with my new hairstyle had completely turned my evening around. 

That is my story of Gorilla House.

xox.

Day 186 - Banff Sister

(Amanda and I. Banff 2004)

Day 186 - "Paris" Friendly Fires (Aeroplane Remix feat. Au Revoir Simone)

I had moved away from home for the first time when I was 19. I moved out to Banff for a year of snowboarding and many new life experiences. I managed to land a waitressing job at The Rimrock and also lived in their staff accommodations within the hotel. I had never lived with roommates in the past so this was definitely a new life experience. I very much disliked the roommates I had as they were horrible, inconsiderate girls. I debated moving back to Saskatchewan after only being there for a couple months because it seemed too difficult. I missed my mommy and daddy along with easy life in Moose Jaw. Before I knew it my dear Amanda swooped me up like she was my mother bird and moved me into her accommodations with her friend Sarah, saving me from my previous roommates.

(Coldlin Chris, Amanda, Sarah and myself. Banff 2004)

This was the beginning of an everlasting friendship. Sadly she was only in Banff for a short period of time because she was there for a work term to complete the hospitality course she was studying at SAIT. I cried and cried and cried the day she left. Now for the first time in eight years Amanda and I are living in the same city! We have always been in other cities, provinces and countries than each other. With her and I are in such close proximity to each other the mischievous wheels are already turning in our minds. I can already predict that this will be quite the preposterous and thrilling summer. Nothing has changed in the eight years that have passed and Amanda still welcomes me into her home as though I am family. It is comforting having family in Calgary while I am so far from my family in Saskatchewan!

xox

Day 187 - Candied

(Phase I...)

Day 187 - "I'm Good, I'm Gone" Lykke Li (Fred Falke Remix)

I was heartbroken this weekend because I was unable to drive out to Saskatoon due to the weather. When I looked at the highway conditions and forecasts they showed that many sections were closed due to prairie blizzards. It was hard to believe that the highways were closed because as I peered out the window from work it was a sunny day in Calgary. I was convinced that I definitely should not  be travelling when I saw the news report of a car crash involving over 100 vehicles on the QE2. I told myself that there must be some reason that I was meant to stay in Calgary for the weekend...

After Gorilla House last night I was in the painting mood so I assembled my artsy girls. We shared a bottle of wine and settled on my living room floor and painted away! After last night's art inspiration involving my trees, I started working on an abstract background to place another tree. The leafless tree is comparable to the shape of a female body in my series "The Female Form" as it completes an abstract canvas. I have over twenty different series' in mind and it's overwhelming! I could paint all day and night as I am continuously inspired with new ideas.

(Renee's piece)

(Amanda's piece)

I cherish the presence of my friends when they come over to paint not only because of the heartwarming company but also because I enjoy watching their personal art flair explode! Renee seems to have found a few personal callings for painting styles and Amanda has already started her first masterpiece. We are already prepared and ready for Gorilla House next week...bring on the painting.

xox

Day 188 - Moon Horror

(Dayshade by Jenn Arguin, March 2013)

Day 188 - "One Type of Dark" Ginger & The Ghost (Ta-Ku Remix)

The art battles at Gorilla House continue every week and I finally made it back for my third attempt. As Renee and I walked in the door we were greeted by Rich the owner and founder of Gorilla House. He had a miniature version of himself in his hands. He had carved a wax doll about 12 inches in length and  it was even dressed like him. Gorilla House is always inspiring people to create new art! Each time I visit the house it always has new art work displayed on it's walls. The theme on the walls were all very large figure drawings inspired by the Thursday night drawing classes.

For the art battle I had it in my mind that I wanted to paint a leafless tree and incorporate it into one of the topics in any way that I could. The wheel spun in my favour and the three topics were: Aficionado, Moon Horror and/or Sun Shower and a Japanese word that I can't recall. I chose Moon Horror with a splash of Sun Shower. I brought along two canvases this time around to see if that would increase interest for my work in the auction. While painting I had two different people who kept walking past me and watching my work in progression. I enjoy the interest but truthfully it can be a bit nerve racking having someone standing behind you watching your every stroke. I found that I kept painting the same branch over and over again until they looked away then I would toss in a big brazen stroke!

("Nightshade" by Jenn Arguin, March 2013)

I had a good feeling that there was going to be a bit of biding war for my paintings. There were quite a few people walking around on a mission. They were looking for something in particular...and sure enough there was a little war for my two paintings and they were sold to a happy art lover! It's such rush standing up in front of the crowd of people, holding up my canvases and watching people get excited over the pieces I had done that night.

Hurray for Gorilla House LIVE art! 

xox